Courtesy of a Saturday night.
Spectrum fashion rules:
1. When wearing a low cut back, always match your bra to the pattern on the dress. In this case, you can see a striped bra "blending" into the striped upper half of the girls dress. Cross over bra straps add that little extra kick... but should only be attempted once you have the style down.
2. What you can't see in this photo, but really need to take note of is the pre-tween trend of wearing dresses over jeans. These two friends are both sporting the high-end fashion look. Don't bother with skin tight jeans either. For extra indie-cool, get slightly large, poorly fitted jeans from Jeans West (which are labelled 'skinny jean'), and rock with your favourite Miss Shop dress.
Hyde Park Fashion Rules:
Hyde Park in Sydney is a both dangerous and colourful place filled with girls enjoying pre-band gutter parties, attractive boys, rowdy Irishmen, cop cars and wildlife. Wildlife can be particularly cute, and all girls coo over animals. That's why you need to
invest in a pair of these "Pet" boots. "Pet" boots such as these (by Givenchy) will attract
hoards of animals right to your feet.
Works better than food.
But beware of feral animals attempting to breed with your footwear.
Other options include rocking the hobo-chic look. But seriously, homeless people are more awesome than you, so let's not go there.
George Street Fashion:
Kids on George Street enjoy drinking in Darling Harbour, and dance floor grinding.
Men: Dress in baggy jeans, coloured shirts and bad shoes.
Women; showing vadge is the only way to go. Seriously, take note from Britney Spears' breeding habits. Letting your dress ride up like Ms. Spears will increase your chances of a road side pick up and reproduction by 190%.
Now that you know the Sydney fashion rules, here are your options for the night.
Roam Sydney:
Look exceedingly cool on a Party Bus. Glowsticks, whilst raver-stomping on the rooftop will ensure your cool points increase at least 49 in the minds of everyone who happens to unwillingly stumble across the obnoxious bass pouring out of the bus doors. However, BEWARE. Ecstasy does not cause holes in your brain. The incredibly obnoxious music played on the Party Bus does. There is a direct correlation between riding the Party Bus and low IQ.
Hyde Park:
Feeling romantic? No? But want to make her believe you are? Suggest a Hyde Park picnic. Don't worry about packing food. If she needs some convincing bring some cheap wine. Then, simply find a large, open patch of grass. No rules apply. Actually; one rule applies. Beware of the automatic sprinklers after dark.
Gentlemen bring a blanket.
George Street:
If your vehicle of choice is totally pimped outtt, and has the sickkkkezt sound system this side of Antartica, George Street is the only place you want to be.
Before heading out, mark your route. Maximise time spent on George Street by choosing the peak hours between 11:30pm and 1am when gridlock is ensured. Once on George Street consider this your moment to shine. Crank your sickezzzt pre-selected tunes loud enough to echo around the Hilton's presidential suite. If a fake-tanned QTee catches your eye hold up as much traffic as possible. For instance, drive across lanes of traffic to get the QTee's attention and flick over to a love song. Once you have her attention you may want to write down your digitz and discuss how comfortable she'd be in your back seat.
And finally, for ex-Australia's Next Top Model contestants:
You'll probably want to be seen in the same outfit you were snapped in last week outside Sydney's Oxford Art Factory. Because Jonothan Pease would have told you that's where all the cool kids hang. Wear glasses for extra scene-points.
See ya later Jelly Tots.
